 COME ON COURTNEY, BE A MAN - - - - - - - - - - - - - First of all let me tell you, this is not to "Diss" Hole or Courtney Love in any way. It is to bring you an honest account of two of the most violent shows I have ever gone to. It takes a lot for me to tell you this, because it is hard for me to think about. But if you are sure you still would like to read, go ahead. Just remember I am not a sissy, I can handle a mosh pit and I am still a hole fan. June 3rd, 1999.- I was so excited to see Hole. I had to talk my friends into going, they are not the biggest fans of hole. I got really bad seats so I called our local radio station to ask if there was anything I could do to get better seats. They said they would exchange them, so I drove for one hour to get some good seats. My friend and I where talking about going to the show for a while. Then the day came. I could hardly sleep. I had to go to class in the morning so I made my self. Through that day all I thought about was the show. *high Hopes* We got to the show about 30 minutes before queens of the stone age started to play. I befrinded one of the Security Guards and wezled out a little orange arm band, which meant I could go anywhere on the floor I wanted. After the queens of the stone age completed it was a mad rush between everyone with a arm band to get in the very front. I got right in front of Courtney's mic. I was extatic. About one hour later it started to rain heavely. Everyone was getting cranky in the front area and I had to go to the bathroom, there was no way in hell I was going to leave my spot. All of a sudden lights got a little higher and the intro to Old Age/ Credit in the straight world began. Everyone went crazy as expected. I was happy and semi- comfertable to be in a tight spot. Courtney came out as lovly as ever, Melissa and Eric greeted the audeince politly with a nod while Sam faded to the drums. The bursted into Violet. At the end of their first song, Courtney stopped playing, ordered the lights on and said "this is dumb, turn the lights on, coca-cola is lame." She then urged everyone to come toward the stage. "Get down here or leave!" so mostly everyone compleid. I was pushed very hard into the guard rail. Courtney looked down at me, and said "Oh look, oh look silicone, this girl has silicone" she was talking about me, and actually no, I don't have implants of any kind. She proceeded to light up her shirt and say "Look mine are real! i got all the silicone taken out!" It only got the crowd more smooshed together, the though they could touch her or something. They played a few more songs which I can't remember I was trying to hard to breathe. As I said before my body was pushed with the crowds force into the guardrail. Courtney looked a couple of times over the audence and once the secruity guards figured enough was enough she yelled "STOP it! damm it I'll protect them! they are fine! Fucken leave them alone" I only wished they would have done anything. Courtney then went atop of one of the Sercruity Guards right next to me, I was happy, and releaved because then people started to move to the left of me. Courtney then came my way... to this day, I wish she haddent. I of course tried to touch her... I did I grabed her leg, and everyone else was about to fucking run over me. She then move on the stage very slowly. It was very close to me. I looked around and all of my friends had vanished. I was getting worried. I began to punch everyone around me. To let me the fuck out of the pit. No such luck. I was then pushed against the protective railing, so hard I was knocked out. I came to again, I was on the floor. A guy came up to me and pulled me up. He shouted he would get me over to the other side of the guard rail so I could go into the back area. No such luck, he became seperated from me... I felt as though I was in a dark pit of hell. Courtney was yelling at everyone to move. "get your asses moving! I am not playing at a fucking old peoples home!" People then became a bit more violent. I passed out again. (I am not a weak person at all.) I felt so angry, I could not get out of the fucking mosh pit. Helll!!!! Everytime it started to ease up a little Courtney said something to make it go back to hell. My head was knock against the rail. And I started making a scene at this point all I want to do was get the fuck out of the pit, and out of that place for all I cared. I felt blood running down my head. Courtney threw her lighter right by me. that was it! I fucking trying so hard to claw my way out of there. Then finally I socked one of the secruity gaurds, and he pulled me out with the help of a few other people in the crowd. They rushed me up to the parametic staion, where I proceeded to cough up blood and had black and blue marks all over my body. They told me I had to go in the ambulance to the E.R., I was incoherent at this point and was not sure what the hell was going on. All I knew is that I could breathe. I woke up the next morning in the hospital. Not sure of what had happened. I saw a docter he said I had 3 fractured ribs, my scull was cracked and my body was full of brusies and hairline fractures. he asked me if I had been in a car accedent. I said "no just a hole show" he was shocked this had happened at a show. They had a few other people at the hospital from "THAT SHOW" I asked if any of my stuff was there. He said you came in with clothes, no wallet, no I.d. no money. I fuckin flipped! I has $500.00 dollers and it was gone. That only added to my misery. I went home the next day and could not look at my computer. It hurt too much. I felt angry and sad. "It's ok to kill your idols" I tried to forget about it, and just go on with my site. I told verious people of what had happened. All I got was "Oh you're such a sissy", "you have to expect shit like that to happen at a hole show" it only added to my hell. A few days later I asked to go to Sweden, (I am from Germany and lived in Sweden for 3 years) I though that would be cool, get my mind off of shit. On the plane ride over there my friend (who knew nothing about the Hole show) said she had a surprise for me. She then handed an envelope to me, I opened it and saw the last thing I wanted to. 2 tickets to the Hultsfred Festival. And who was on the bill? none other than hole. I thought I would become sick right then and there. But, I still felt alright to listen to hole. I just vowed to see them ever again. I was conned by myself and my friend into going. Hultsfred Festival in Sweden, June 17th- At my friend's parents friend house I was trying to delay the June 17th day as much as I could. I had no power over it. It came very fast and I was feeling better. I thought the secruity would be in more numbers than on June 3rd because it was a festival. There where more. But there was 1,000 times more people there aswell. Not enough for the secruity to handle. At about 1:00 a.m. after a long day Hole came up on stage. I backed up so quick. I could tell the gaurds could not handle the chaos. I wanted to leave before I was killed. I stayed up on the grass however. I could hear it but just wanted to leave more than ever. At around the time hole went into Violet it was going to turn crazy. Courtney pulled people onto the stage and showed everyone her breast and told the girls who were on the stage that if they did not show everyone their breast they needed to "get the hell of my stage". I could not believe it was coming from Courtney. At this point I had lost complete control. My friend and I took of stayed outside the arena. We then got the hell off Courtney's planet. The next morning I was angrey and upset. I read a local news paper with the headlines of "Girl dies during hole's act" I sadly enough could believe it. I was sick, sick, sick. I could not hear about hole, see Courtney's face on t.v., newspaper, or ect. I wanted to just forget it all. It was way too hard to. Weeks and months went by before I could go on the computer. When I finally did I deleted anything that was hole or clove from my computer. I would not look at my web program for fear I would find a hole site bookmark. I finally desided the Mosh pit was partly Courtney's fault but more the people around me. No respect. I was ashamed to be a Hole fan, for their fans were so evil at both shows I went to. In September I decided i could handle it again. I re-vamped My Courtney Love, and Hole websites, and regained the passion I once had. See I told you I was not dissing Hole, or Courtney. Just telling my side. - - - - - - - - - - - - - |